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hello? 911? my hand is stuck inside my pussy.
hello 911 en We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/138052237
black369ace: i-am-a-fish: coolidontunderstand: i-am-a-fish: puzzledrodent: i-am-a-fish: Ill take one, keep the change. Hello? 911? Yes, there is a fish here selling lemonade without a permit The poor baby :’(
incorrect48quotes:Ikumin: *Calls 911*Nanamin: Don’t do thisIkumin: Hello, 911? I’d like to report a crime in process.Nanamin: This is illegal.Ikumin: It’s my girlfriend, she-Nanamin: Ikumi, no.Ikumin: -stole my heart.
captaincasualty: Hello? 911? I just witnessed a murder.
kirrrk: hello 911 yes i touched wet food while doing the dishes i’d like surgery to remove my hand
dersekingdom: hello 911 I want to report a theft. yes. A cutie stole my heart. No. I just want the cutie back. They can keep my heart. Okay. Thank you. Yes. I’ll stay on the line.
hamishwatson: yes hello 911 i’m being forced into adulthood and i don’t like it send help
ifyoucarryonthisway: hello 911 my sock is falling down inside my shoe
coconuti: me: *dials 911* operator: hello 911, what’s your emergency? me: i need someone to cuddle with, rub my back, and play with my hair operator: someone is on their way, please stay calm
surprisebitch: *calls 911* 911: hello, 911, what is your emergency? me: help!! i lost my virginity!! 911: um im sorry.. but.. i dont think.. me: no, i lost my pet, “virginity” its name is virginity ! 911: ohhh! xD me: xD
beachier: me: *dials 911* operator: hello 911, what’s your emergency? me: i need someone to cuddle with, rub my back, and play with my hair operator: someone is on their way, please stay calm If only.
eatsmenshearts: darwinquark: tedbroiler: ithelpstodream: Some guy just mansplained space to an actual fucking astronaut. tfw correcting misinformation is written off as mansplaining tfw when idiots on tumblr who know jack shit about thermo assume
fallen-angel-in-a-laundromat: long-live-the-queen-of-moondoor: pugchacho: itsafunnyoldlife: strayleea: Why do Americans put the month first. It just makes no sense. We put the month first because in conversation we say, “July 1st, 2015.” Because
quousque: penfairy: zetsubouloli: penfairy: Women have more power and agency in Shakespeare’s comedies than in his tragedies, and usually there are more of them with more speaking time, so I’m pretty sure what Shakespeare’s saying is “men
celero-loves-dragons: whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating: obviouslypancakes: sirowlington: demolished Gottem! i went to fact check this and he literally is fuck them up philip
internetmessiah: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
ianime0: Free! -Dive to the Future- | Ep 11 | Just don’t cry if I beat you
Hello 911 I need to be arrested I accisently rolled up the wrong window and squished my puppy. I also beamed a dog at the dog park with a rock hard tennis ball
beachier: me: *dials 911* operator: hello 911, what’s your emergency? me: i need someone to cuddle with, rub my back, and play with my hair operator: someone is on their way, please stay calm
hello 911 yes i touched wet food while doing the dishes i’d like surgery to remove my hand
i-have-been-johnlocked: tolkienjrr: flargalargalarg: oniongrass: koppuri: hello 911 i cant draw my otp hello 911 I cant draw hello 911 I can’t hello 911 i - i - i - i i YOU JUST HAD TO TAKE IT DOWN THAT ROAD
hello 911 yes i’d like to report a murder this bitch killed my vibe
lexilushxx: coconuti: me: *dials 911* operator: hello 911, what’s your emergency? me: i need someone to cuddle with, rub my back, and play with my hair operator: someone is on their way, please stay calm I have a 911 emergency!! * sigh *
